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[07 Jun 2005|06:58pm] |
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Hey guys, I know I haven't updated in a while and I apologize about that. I've been incredibly busy. I just wanted to let you all know that I've changed journals. My username is "pretty_cool" on greatestjournal.com. Maybe I'll see you there! ;o)
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| Finally, an update! |
[19 Apr 2005|09:33pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Anniversary of an Uninteresting Event - Deftones |
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Working at Winn-Dixie is much, much better. I'm no longer a cashier. I've decided to be a bagger and a buggy-pusher lol. It's actually fun, to be quite frank. It's a good way to meet new people. I'm gradually befriending more and more of them. And I'm getting a more than decent paycheck each week, so it's nice to have some money in the bank for my account.
Pretty soon, around my birthday, (which is July 7th), my parents are going to get me a car. Technically, it's mine already. I mean, my dad filled out the registration and handled the insurance. Now we have to get the license and all that good stuff. But they're not letting me have it until the beginning of July. And I can't wait. So I'm really excited. It's a dark green Ford Taurus. I checked it out a couple of weeks ago and I'm falling in love with it already.
Well, I can't really think of anything else that's worth mentioning in here. Things have been pretty mellow lately, which is good. Except for two of my good friends that have been bickering with each other lately and them wanting me to be in the middle of it, my life has been drama-free.
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| "I've been searching deep down in my soul, words that I'm hearing are starting to get old." |
[06 Apr 2005|09:45pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Goodbye - Michelle Branch |
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Wow, I've been so busy lately that I'm even lucky enough to have time to be on the computer. I'm not used to all this hastiness.
I started my job at WinnDixie Saturday. It was going pretty smoothly except for my shift on Monday night. It was hell, seriously. My trainer was getting impatient with me because I wasn't as fast with the register as she wanted me to be. I personally thought I was doing well, but when I made a mistake every now and then.. she would point to the screen on the register and said things like, "No.. read," which made me feel inadequate. And guess where that led me. To tears. In front of everyone. When my customers would smile and try to comfort me by saying that their first job was a mess, it just made everything worse. I would start choking up again. I appreciated their attempts, though. I was so stressed when I got home, an HOUR later than I was supposed to get off, that I fell into my mom's arms crying. I just hope my next shifts (this weekend) will turn out better.
I'm confused with my relationship with Jon. I thought that I liked him. But when our first kiss came not so long ago, I just.. didn't feel anything. So now everytime he wants to give me a kiss, I just laugh and turn my head, pretending that I thought he was just joking. So that worsens my confusion, which leads to the thought of my sexuality, thus deepening my stress.
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| "Please be careful with me, I'm sensitive." |
[29 Mar 2005|10:58pm] |
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mood |
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I'm Sensitive - Jewel |
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I've been spending lots of time with Jon lately. He makes me happy. We've been lounging around all day while watching movies, playing Gamecube and eating. What more could you ask for? I really think he's something special. I just hope one of us doesn't end up getting hurt...
I start my job at Winn-Dixie soon. I have this training thing on Saturday. It's about time I start. It took me forever to get my vendor's permit. I had to get it by taking this class and then a test afterwards. It's this license-type thing where I'm able to sell alcohol and tobacco products.
Let's see.. I don't really have anything interesting to say. Except that for Easter, besides getting to eat crawfish like we usually do, we didn't! All of my cousins and I were so upset. It's like a tradition where we have crawfish every year for Easter but my uncle didn't feel like getting it this year for some reason. Probably because it's a hassle and it's really expensive. But oh well. "There's always next year."
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| "I know that you are something special, to you I'll be always faithful." |
[22 Mar 2005|10:23pm] |
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mood |
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 refreshed |
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music |
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Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney |
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Geez, I've been busy lately. I haven't even had time to update. So I apologize for that.
So let's see. Instead of ranting and venting about what's been bugging me these days, I decided that I'm going to talk about all the positive things in this entry. Hopefully it'll make me feel a little ... I don't know, rejuvenated?
Have I mentioned before about how much I like Jon? (By the way, I learned that he spells his name without an "h". Just an interesting tid-bit.) I think I have already described my feelings for him, but let me elaborate on that. He's such a great guy. Extrememly different from every guy that I've ever dated before. And believe me, that's a good thing. I haven't had the best of boyfriends in the past, but Jon is definitely on the top of my list. He's very sweet, very considering, and very funny all at the same time. How awesome is that? Extremely awesome.
Okay, so another optimistic thing that's happened recently: I placed 2nd on the District Rally thingy. I don't think I said anything about it, but a few Saturdays ago I went to take a test at this college university with many other students, each from different schools in the district. Mrs. Foshee, my English teacher, chose me to go for English.. so that was pretty flattering. And when I found out that I got 2nd place, it was a nice feeling.
And lastly, I got report cards last Monday and my G.P.A was a 3.9. So that wasn't too shabby, I guess. I've been working my tush off lately in school and it's just nice to know that it's been paying off.
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| "You treat me like I'm a princess, I'm not used to liking that." |
[13 Mar 2005|08:00pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette |
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This week has had its ups and downs. But this weekend was definitely the "up" side of it, thank God. I finally had a decent weekend.
Friday night I hung out with Brittany, Lindsey and John Paul. We went to Oren's house where all the guys were playing pool. I showed off my lack of talent when it came to the department. But it was fun nonetheless. John (not John Paul, that's Lindsey's man lol) was there and we got to hang out for a little while before he had to go to work.(Speaking of work, I got the job at Winn-Dixie that I've been applying for. Finally. It took them a while to get back to me. I'm not sure of the exact date when I start, but it'll probably be within the next week or so.)
Saturday night, John took me to the movies. We saw The Pacifier, which was better than I expected it to be. I was afraid the date was going to be full of awkward silences, but it turned out to be really fun. I felt comfortable with him and he kept cracking jokes. I love it when he does that. It turns out that we have lots of things in common, which is awesome. My previous dates/boyfriends/whatever you want to call them didn't like much of the same stuff as I did. So it was a nice change of pace. He took me out to eat afterwards. I loved it because he spoiled me. And I'm NOT used to being spoiled by a guy at all. I usually have to pay my way through the date, but he wouldn't let me help him with the check or anything, even after I offered. So I thought that was incredibly sweet of him.
A couple of minutes ago, John and I were talking on the phone and I asked him to be my date to the Sadie Hawkin's dance coming up next weekend. He said yes, fortunately. So that should be fun. I can't wait. Hopefully next weekend will be as awesome as this one was.
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| "You need to realize that sometimes you're just not okay." |
[06 Mar 2005|10:12pm] |
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music |
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Clumsy - Our Lady Peace |
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This weekend was crappy. It started out hectic, considering that the following week will be exam week. So I knew it wasn't going to be a stress-free weekend, but I was oblivious to the fact that it was going to be dramatic.
Friday night I went to the racetrack. Kevin came to pick me up with his Fordoche friends. I nearly died there with DJ driving. Christ. He was going 80 mph down this curvy road everyone calls "Snake Road" where the speed limit is like 35 mph. Kevin was grabbing me in "inappropriate" places even though I kept telling him to stop. I hate it when he does that. But you know what? I don't have to worry about it anymore. And you know why? Because we broke up. If I were to go into detail about it, it would be this long, drawn-out story that I really don't feel like explaining. But the point is that it's over, and I'm glad. Though I was agitated the rest of the night.
Saturday afternoon, I went to the movies with Lindsey, Brittany, and this dude we call "Egg". Don't ask. We saw "Hitch", which was good. It was funny. I was depressed, though, because before we drove into the city, we stopped at McDonald's to get something to eat. And of course, the Fordoche boys were there. And of course, Kevin was mean to me. I was going to go to this party that night, but I knew Kevin was there so I didn't want to go. I made up some excuse about how I needed to start studying and work on my English project. So I stayed home.
And now I'm feeling depressed and vulnerable. ...Did I mention how much I detest my "friends"? They're all just a big disappointment. They do so many little (well, they're not little to me) things that just all add up to make this HUGE thing that in turn just makes me want to scream. If only they knew how hurtful they can be sometimes.. okay, MOST of the time. Maybe I should just secretly tape them and play the recording to them one day. Maybe then they'll see how inconsiderate they are.
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| "I can't embrace this feeling on the tip of my tongue." |
[27 Feb 2005|10:59pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Waiting - Green Day |
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This weekend has been interesting.
Friday, I went to the racetrack with Brittany and Lindsey. Even though our ride was an hour and a half late, we dealt with it. I don't know if I mentioned him before, but I met up with a friend of mine named John. I met him through Oren, who's a good friend of Brittany and Lace's. Even though Kevin was trying to romance me throughout the night, I was distracted by John. There's just something about him that catches my attention. He's just so funny and not to mention sweet. I shouldn't be saying this though, and you'll see why...
Saturday night I went with Kevin to this party/crawfish boil thing. We're officially an item.. again. And I don't know what I was thinking last night when I said I'd be with him. I guess I was just afraid to say no. I was afraid of what he might do or say. My mom said something that interested me while I was getting ready for the party last night. I was standing in front of the mirror, putting on my eyeliner, and she came to talk to me. Here's how the conversation went:
Mom: "Be careful of this Kevin guy, Amy. There's something about him that I don't like."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Mom: "I don't know. I don't like how you act around him. You're different.. like you're trying to impress him by not acting like yourself. Look at yourself, you're wearing make-up." (I never wear make-up.)
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| "But today, I've wasted away. For today is on my mind." |
[20 Feb 2005|12:52am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Yesterday Feelings - The Used |
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On Thursday, I broke up with Shawn. The only reason I got to talk to him was because I was talking to Kevin on the internet, and Kevin happened to be over at Shawn's. So apparently, Kevin told him to call me or something. So technically, I'm single at the moment.
Friday night, Lace, Brittany, Steven (Brittany's interest) and I were all supposed to go to the racetrack. But we didn't because by the time we would have gotten there, everyone would have been leaving. We stopped at Exxon so Steven could get Brittany a pack of cigarrettes, and all of the Fordoche boys happened to be there. They said that they were on their way to a party at Tony's, so we decided to go there too. We didn't get to stay there long, but it was fun nonetheless. My curfew was originally midnight but I persuaded my mom into letting me stay out until 1:15. It was nice not having to go home so early like usual. Kevin was there, and even though he has a girlfriend he was trying to kiss me. But, of course, he was drunk. So that was a double whammy (lol). I told him I wouldn't kiss him when he had a girlfriend. And then that's when we left.
I found out from Kevin just now that everyone was at Brittany's house tonight, and she didn't even invite me. I hate it when she does something like that. She does it all the time to Lace and now she's starting to do it to me. She's so inconsiderate that it hurts. I mean, I can understand if she just wanted to hang out with Lace and some other friends that night so they could go somewhere. But the damn party was at HER house and ALL of our gang was there, not just a few people! AND Kevin told me that Lace said something about the reason why I never call guys in the relationship is because my MOTHER, yes.. my MOTHER, told me not to. My MOM!? What the hell. Lace can make up some crap. Her middle effing name is "liar". GOD. I swear, sometimes I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs that I hate the friends I have.
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| "Break another little piece of my heart now, baby." |
[16 Feb 2005|10:19pm] |
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gloomy |
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Piece of My Heart - Janis Joplin |
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This Monday, Valentine's Day, was progress report card day. My G.P.A was a 3.7. I brought it home in hopes of getting some sort of praise from my parents since I was somewhat satisfied with the results. I handed it to my dad, and to my disappointment, he said, "All right" and handed it back to me. Then, desperately, I gave it to my mom. A mere "good job" was her response. All I could do was just stand there in silence and wait for her to sign it. I was so disappointed afterwards that I just sat in my bed for what seemed like hours and just stared at the floor. All I wanted was a simple, "I'm proud of you", at least. Or just a hug. That's all I wanted. I just want my parents to be proud of me. The next day, some of my friends were all excited because their parents were giving them like $50 because they got a G.P.A of like 3.0 or something. It's not the fact that everyone else is getting a material item in return for getting a decent progress report. It's that their parents are actually showing them that they're proud of them. It's that their parents ARE proud of them. It just made me feel so useless. I'm tired of not getting any credit for my grades or my diligence. It's depressing.
To make matters worse, Shawn didn't call me on Valentine's Day. We're supposed to be a couple and he didn't even call me! I haven't spoken to him since Saturday. What a great relationship I'm in. All the girls were so giddy the next day from what they got from their boyfriends as a gift and here I am, feeling sorry for myself because I didn't even get a phone call.
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| "I can laugh all I want.. inside I still am empty." |
[10 Feb 2005|09:38pm] |
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mood |
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All That I've Got - The Used |
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I suddenly feel this urge to write, but I'm lacking ideas. I don't even know where to start.
This Monday is Valentine's Day. I wish it didn't fall on a Monday. Mondays are just so dull and long. And seeing people happy with boxes of candy and flowers in their hands will just make it even longer. Wait. What am I saying? I have a boyfriend. But something just doesn't feel right in this relationship. Maybe because it's new and we've only been dating for about two weeks now. I don't know. I just don't really feel any spark when Shawn kisses me. It seems like I don't feel a spark when any guy kisses me these days. ... And it's coming back. My weakness. My depression. My loneliness. And worst of all: my confusion.
I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm unbearably confused about my sexuality. And no one knows it. Not my friends, not my family. I find myself attracted to guys as well as a few selected girls and I just can't take it anymore. I need some varification and reassurance. I DON'T need ridicule or judgment. God, I don't need that.
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| "And maybe you should sleep, and maybe you just need a friend." |
[05 Feb 2005|10:16pm] |
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Clumsy - Our Lady Peace |
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So.. it's the Mardi Gras holidays for Louisiana. I'm off until Thursday, that's when I go back to school.
Last night I hung out with Shawn and Brittany. We went to Catholic's basketball game for like.. a half an hour and then left. But before we went, I picked up Brittany and brought her to Subway. At Subway, we saw a friend of ours with a group of his friends. His friends wouldn't stop leaving us alone. They were staring into the window of Subway. So Brittany told me to go mess with him. I walked outside and noticed him pounding his fist into the palm of his hand. I asked what he was doing it for and he was all, "It means I wanna penetrate all up in ya." I was so taken aback that I paused for a second and then went, "...Oh, okay then." It was so disgusting! Geez. I might mention that he was.. erm.. African American.
I'm so tired right now. Not just physically tired. Emotionally tired as well. I'm tired of almost all of my friends being so inconsiderate to my feelings and the feelings of others. Earlier today, Brittany was critcizing my driving. She's ALWAYS telling me things like, "I don't know how the fuck you passed Driver's Ed, no offense." But she usually only tells me things like that like if I make a wrong turn or something because I don't know where I'm going. She considers bad sense of direction to be bad driving. I've been in the passenger seat before while she drives before, and personally.. she's not the best driver in the entire world either, if you know what I mean. But I NEVER criticize her because I'm ALWAYS sensitive to her feelings. I'm NEVER rude to her. And I'm sick of it! I'm sick of always being the nice and considerate person in my group of friends. I wish everyone would just realize how terrible they are to others sometimes! I never tell her rude comments like, "Damn, you don't know how to drive." But that's just a common example of how she treats me. And I'm sick of it. She's so rude and rude to everyone else but no one tells her that because everyone's intimidated by her, including me. I wish I could just build up the courage one day to tell her off. But you know what? That's never going to happen. And you know why? Because I don't want to lose her as a friend, because if that happens then all of my other friends will be on her side because they're just as scared of her as I am.. and then I'll be alone. ...And I don't want to be alone.
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| "Coin-operated boy; all the other real ones that I destroy, cannot hold a candle to my new boy." |
[30 Jan 2005|11:39am] |
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Coin-Operated Boy - The Dresden Dolls |
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If I had to sum up this entire week with just a couple of words, I'd probably say something like, "...never a dull moment."
Kevin heard about Shawn and me. And well, let's just say that he's not happy. He started telling me "fuck you" over and over again and he also said stuff like, "I'm sorry for ever messing with you and ever meeting you." It hurt. I admit that I shed a few tears, but soon stopped myself because I realized that he isn't worth crying over. Everytime someone mentions his name, my teeth literally cringe and I wish I had never met him. Seriously. He's so obnoxious and juvenile that it gives me a headache! He's spreading rumors that him and me had sex. And it's just so annoying because it seems to me like he's a pathological liar. He's going around saying things that aren't even true. I'm a freakin' virgin and if he EVER comes close to ruining my reputation, I swear.. I don't know what I'd do. But it's getting to be ridiculous. He's 19 and he acts like he's 12.
I saw him last night while hanging out with my friends. He was all, "Well look who it is.. it's my best friend, Amy Leigh." I looked at him and flipped him off. That was the LEAST I could do. I was so close to pointing out all of his flaws and making fun of his imperfections on the outside and inside that it wasn't even funny. But you know what? I'm better than that. I'm not going to stoop so low like he is.
Shawn kissed me last night. His lips are.. wow.. really soft. And you know what? WE DID IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF KEVIN. Hah! But about me and Shawn.. I mean, I don't know. I think I like him. He's really sweet and has the cutest smile in the entire world. But it certainly doesn't help that he's friends with Kevin, because it just makes things more complicated. And then I think of Tommy. Tommy = long distance. I don't talk to him as often as I used to, but I have spoken to him recently and everytime I do get to talk to him, feelings start coming to the surface again. And I just know that if he lived by me, I'd be with him. He's so much more than almost all of the guys here. He's.. a real gentleman, you know? And you certainly cannot find those easily these days. Ugh, confusion.
Lighter note: I had a fun time last night. It was me, Shannon, Brittany, and Lace in the car most of the time. We met up with Oren and John, but then we brought them home an hour or two later. Afterwards, we met up with the Fordoche boys and had a party in the parking lot of Winn-Dixie! lol! It was great.
Funny sayings in the car:
Shannon: I need sex.
Brittany: Oh my God, I need sex too.
Me: ... I need a tissue.
Brittany: It smells like.. fruit of the loom.
Me: ::starts cracking up::
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| "Goodies make the boys jump on it!" |
[22 Jan 2005|04:06pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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One, Two Step - Ciara |
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Last night was awesome. Of course, the Fordoche boys had to throw a bonfire.. like always. And it was great. There weren't too many people there. Only around 20. But that made it even better, I thought. I knew everyone there and we all had so much fun. Charlie and Kevin came to pick Brittany and I up. (Yes, I let Kevin come and get me.. lol.) At the beginning of the party, Kevin pulled me aside and apologized for "being an ass", as he would say. I told him that it was all right and we should just forget about it. We hugged and I THOUGHT he understood that I just wanted to be friends and nothing more. But while I was sitting with a group of friends and talking later on, he came and sat real close to me. I thought, "Okay.. well he's just trying to be friendly, so it's fine." And I was right about one thing.. he WAS trying to be friendly. A little too friendly, if you know what I mean. He started sliding his hand under my shirt and rubbing my back. I was, of course, uncomfortable. But knowing me and my cowardly self, I didn't say anything. Though you all SHOULD be proud of me for this: He kept on asking me to kiss him. He would always be leaning toward me and turning my head towards his. He was all, "Come on, I miss it." I wanted to be like, "Too friggin' bad." But I really didn't feel like starting anything. So I just told him "no" over and over again. Later on, BJ, a good friend of Kevin's, came up to me and was all, "Let's make Kevin jealous" and started rubbing up against me and wrapping his arms around me. At first I thought it was funny but then I told him to stop because I could tell Kevin was starting to get really irritated by it, but he didn't stop right away. Finally, Brittany pulled me away because she needed a pee pee partner. I was everyone's pee pee partner that night, lol! If Shannon or Brittany or Caitlyn had to go pee, they would always be like "AMY!!!" and come running toward me. I was the only sober girl there so I guess they considered me the "designated helper for the pee pee-ers"? But whatever, it was hilarious. Later on, Shawn, a friend of ours, came up to me. He was telling me how he's been "interested" in me for a little while now and how he's been trying to get my number and screen name lately. I was seriously flattered because I've been feeling the same way. I kept on wishing Shawn would finally notice me these past couple of months and he finally did. So that made my night. We exchanged phone numbers.
I ended up riding home with BJ because there was this huge ordeal about Marty (my ride home) hitting some parked car and the owner of the car and Marty were about to go at it. I noticed that he was drunk so I hauled my butt out of that car. Brittany's cell phone was supposedly stolen and I seriously never saw her so pissed off and angry before. So hopefully she finds it.
Well, that was my night! I thought I should write about it so I could feel rejuvenated. I had fun. On a not-so-light note, though.. my grandfather's in the hospital right now. He's having severe stomach problems and is in a great deal of pain. So I'd appreciate it if you guys kept him in your thoughts.
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| "My weakness is that I care too much." |
[16 Jan 2005|11:13pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Scars - Papa Roach |
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I just got back from Shannon's house. A few friends were there, we all just hung out in her bedroom. It was fun. I had to come home a bit early though because I had to bring Lace back to her house. But it's all good. I didn't mind.
Last night I rode around with some friends in Charlie's car. That was okay, I guess. Not really that exciting, but fun nonetheless. Earlier yesterday, I went to the movies with Kayla. We saw "In Good Company" with Topher Grace. I liked it, it was a good movie. Topher's awesome. I'd kill to have a boyfriend like him.
Speaking of boyfriends, Kevin's been pissing me off lately. (Not that he's my boyfriend again or anything.) He's been telling all of my friends our personal business that happened while we dated AND he's been lying about some things. He said that I wanted to go "down" on him one night at his apartment or something but he wouldn't let me because I "didn't know what I was doing" since I'm not such an experienced skank in the sex-department and everything. I was so upset because that's so not true that I wanted to perform oral sex on him. I'm not that kinda girl, especially when I'm not even in love and we've been dating for like 2 weeks. He apologized and everything though. I told him that I forgave him but I let him know that things between us are definitely not going to be the same again. And I meant it.
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| "I tried to be perfect, it just wasn't worth it." |
[09 Jan 2005|03:27pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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Pieces - Sum 41 |
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You know what I'm sick of? Doing favors for people and not getting anything in return for it. I'm sick of people taking advantage of me. "Friends" taking advantage of me, for that matter. All of my friends here think I'm just someone they can step over and do whatever they want with. None of them care about my feelings or what I think of things. They use me for copying off of for tests and homework. Oh, and can't forget the car. Since I'm one of the few people who has their license in my group of friends, they're all "Can you take the car out tonight? What about tomorrow night?" I'm sick of it. It's like they don't want my company, just a car ride or an easy "A" on a group project because I'm usually the one doing all the work. I can't even do my homework for English this weekend because I let a "friend" of mine borrow my novel, and she hasn't even given it back to me like she promised so I can finish it. I tried looking the story up on the internet but all it's given me is the cliff notes, which I don't need. I need the actual story. It's not the fact that she forgot to give it to me, because it's just homework. I can afford to miss a few points every now and then. It's the inconsideration that matters. It pisses me off how everyone around me is so insensitive to the needs of others, especially mine. I'm sick of it.
I'm about to break down, I swear. I'm tired of people expecting so much from me, including my parents. I'm NOT PERFECT like they think I am or want me to be. I'm a teenage girl who's insecurely unstable at the moment and I need a freaking hug.
Pieces - Sum 41
I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought it'd be easy but no one believes me
I meant all the things that I said
if you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
just to see if it would show
that I'm trying to let you know
that I'm better off on my own
this place is so empty
my thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
sometimes it's so crazy that nothing can save me
but it's the only thing that I have
if you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
just to see if it would show
that I'm trying to let you know
that I'm better off on my own
I tried to be perfect it just wasn't worth it
nothing could ever be so wrong
it's hard to believe me
it never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along
if you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
just to see if it would show
that I'm trying to let you know
that I'm better off on my own.
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| Crazy Week to Crazy Morning |
[08 Jan 2005|07:06pm] |
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mood |
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 moody |
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music |
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Not sure of the name of the song |
] |
This morning was so hectic and scary. I woke up around 9:15 to the sound of my dad screaming "Hurry up! Call 911!" to my mom. I quickly fumbled out of my bed, practically falling out of it, and rushed into the kitchen where my dad was standing near the window, looking out of it. "They're tearing him up, Claudia! Hurry!" First I thought gangsters. Gangsters? No, that couldn't be it. I live in an all white neighborhood that's been rated #1 for safety in New Roads. So certainly some gangsters with their pimped-out cars couldn't be in Fairfield! (The name of my neighborhood.) Then I thought little kids were hurting someone. But I soon found out the answer when I glanced out the window. It was two boxers practically tearing up this little tiny black and brown dog (I'm not sure of the type he was.) So here we are, all staring out of the window while my mom is on the phone with the police. And I see this guy running up the street with this baseball bat! He scared away the two dogs and they went back around to their house where the people who owned them live in. The hurt dog was limping back to the porch of the house where the owners live. Then, about five minutes later, the two dogs came running back towards the porch! So my dad gets in his car, and drives ONTO their lawn and blocks the two dogs. It was dangerous and scary because I thought my dad was going to run over the dogs while blocking them off. If the dogs would go one way, my dad would follow them and try and use his car as this barrier thing. Then that's the time around when the two cop cars drive up. I see this other guy (our neighbor) come running up. He checks the hurt dog out and he's all bloody. So he ends up taking it to the vet, which I was thankful for. My mom tries to call Mrs. Alice, (the owner of the dog) but apparently she wasn't home. And the owner of the two boxers wasn't home either. So the two policemen tie up the two dogs to this tree on her property. So here's the two cops waiting for the woman to get home, and finally she does. They talk to her and this hound-dog comes sniffing up on the woman's property. I was getting scared that the two boxers were going to break loose and get it. And guess what. One of them did. It started chasing after the hound-dog and I started screaming. Thankfully, the policeman ended up catching the dog. And that's about the end of it all. And yes, I was standing behind the blinds this entire time, spying on everyone lol. My mom was too, actually.
Well, I'm glad this week is almost over. I had a completely WRETCHED day Thursday afternoon and woke up with swollen eyes from crying. I'm not really in the mood to go into detail about it, but I'm a little better now. I'm stuck at home this weekend because too many things are going on for me to go out. But that's all right. I guess maybe I need to stay home for a bit.
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| If only life were like the movies... |
[01 Jan 2005|08:33pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
] |
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music |
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Runaway Bride on TNT |
] |
This week went by fast!
It was either Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon that Kevin and I broke up. It was a mutual agreement kind of thing. He asked me how I was feeling about the relationship, and I just honestly told him what I felt. I told him that I didn't think it was working out, and he agreed. He mentioned something about me never liking him that much and how I needed someone less "outgoing" as him. Well I guess so. I mean, the boy is ADHD and he wouldn't stop grabbing me in inappropriate places in public when we were "talking" and dating. It got aggravating at times. But I have to say that I'm glad that we aren't together anymore. He was right. I never really liked him. I was always confused and puzzled about it. And come to find out, the reason I was confused was because I wanted to like him.. I really did. I just.. didn't. And you can't make yourself like someone. I didn't even feel physically attracted to him. So no, it wasn't meant to be.
Thursday night was so much fun. I took the car out and so many friends piled up in it with me. We drove forever and a day to different places, but it was worth it. I was in the driver's seat (of course, I'm always the driver these days), Oren and Shannon were squished in the passenger's seat, and Willie, Brittany, and Tim were all piled up in the backseat. We kept on finding different silly reasons to laugh our butts off at various things, and I loved it. I haven't had that much fun in a while. It was nice being out with everyone.
Today, for New Years, family came over and we watched the Rose Bowl. Of course, everyone was rooting for LSU, but the opponent's side ended up winning at the last minute. All of the adults started cursing wildly and yelling at the TV with all of their might, while Becky (my slightly older cousin) and I started laughing incessantly. We couldn't hold it in and everyone got frustrated with us. Geesh, it's just a football game. No reason to freak out over it. Afterwards, when a few people left, my two aunts, my mom and me all played Pictionarry, which was SO much fun! We couldn't stop throwing giggling fits. Great times, great times.
Well, only one more day until school starts again. I don't want to go back! I wouldn't mind going to school as much if we didn't have to wake up so early. That's the hard part of it all.
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| "The silence of the heart can leave you shattered." |
[27 Dec 2004|12:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Desperation Song - Carbon Leaf |
] |
This Christmas season was pretty hectic, I have to admit. Part of me is glad it's over and part of me isn't. Many people get really uptight during the holidays, especially my mom. But we won't get into that. I had fun being with family. My grandfather and aunt are great. They're my favorite relatives to be around. It wouldn't be the same without them. They're so hilarious and loving. I look up to them. But Christmas time always seems to succeed making a little part of me depressed because I miss my loved ones who have died not so long ago. It makes me upset that I can't spend more time with them. But there's really nothing I can do about that.
This week I'm supposed to go see Meet the Fockers with most of my family. That should be fun. The movie should be great. I also am planning on going see Darkness with Kevin and some other friends, and afterwards go ice skating. Now that should be interesting. I haven't ice skated in forever. I have no doubt that I'll bust my butt more than once. Speaking of Kevin, I'm still confused about that situation. I mean, things are going pretty smoothly, I suppose. But I'm just not feeling any chemistry between us. He can be really sweet sometimes and he's a good guy, but.. the attraction just isn't there for me. It's not that he isn't good-looking. I've had different people come up to me saying how "hott" and cute they thought he was. But I don't know. I have my suspiscions when it comes to guys. I guess I'll brush up on that topic later.
Well, I hope everyone had a merry Christmas.
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| "Shut up, don't wanna be polite. It's messed up how you always thinks you're right." |
[19 Dec 2004|04:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Shut Up - Kelly Osbourne |
] |
So it's officially the Christmas Holidays for me, which is good because I need a break from studying my butt off from school. I'm even starting to have dreams about my grades. How abnormal is that?
Tonight I'm supposed to go to Brittany's house with Shannon and just hang out. Maybe go somewhere later on, I don't know. Whatever gets me out of the house, I'm for it. My mom's been a HUGE annoyance towards me lately and I just can't stand it anymore. We think she's going through menopause. It's complete hell for me and my dad, ESPECIALLY me because she takes out all her stress and anger out on me, the child who is "the dumbest person in the world" and who "embarrasses the family", as my dad would say. Yeah, so you can tell that I'm not getting any slack from my dad either. Apparently I'm not as perfect as they want me to be.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I can never make my parents proud of me it seems. My mom is constantly yelling at me and then starts crying, thus making my dad come into my room and yell at me for making her cry when she was the one who started arguing with me in the first place! It always starts out with her picking an argument with me, and then ends with her saying, "I'm not going to argue with you." I mean really.. how hypocritical can a person get?
For the time being, I want to fall asleep and never wake up.
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